Pilgrimage can be defined as a “journey, especially a long one, made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion.” Well, at least that is what Google says, and that is exactly what my life has been (for the most part). Ever since I became a Christian when I was 15, I have been searching for a place to call home as my way of living a life devoted to Christ. When the time came to pick which career to pursue, I was greatly influenced by my attraction to Evangelism and Missions, so I decided to go into Nursing School. What a journey that was, and what a great failure. My favorite part about it was people-watching in the cafeteria. I was confused, and thought I would never be able to find a way to live a life devoted to Christ.
The time came to make a decision, so I changed majors and went into one of the things I am most passionate about: Anthropology. I thought I had finally found a way back to my journey of devotion to Christ. What a journey that was, and what a great failure. Again I was confused and felt stuck, but didn’t let anyone notice. How could I pretend to live a life of devotion if I showed signs of weakness and seemed disoriented? I was obviously looking at things from the wrong perspective. Feelings of shame started to overcome me, so I cried out to God and He heard me. With kindness the Lord showed me how my devotion to Him, was actually devotion to my own plans to “be someone.” Convicted of my distrust and unbelief in the Lord’s plans, I decided to leave everything and embark on another journey. I moved to Ensenada, Mexico without any specific plans, except to be with God and find myself in Him, not in my own accomplishments (which obviously wasn’t working.) What a journey that was, and what a great victory. Finally! I have a spiritual and emotional attachment to Ensenada because my life changed while I was there. I found a place to call home, and I feel the most at home when I find myself in Jesus.
Finding myself in Jesus is a daily pursuit. My journey of devotion, aka. my life, makes sense only when I do His will, and His will is a day-to-day thing. Every morning I have to remind myself I am nothing without Jesus, and I ask Him to help me live according to His will. It has always amazed me how we need the Lord’s help to love Him more. God has been so good to me, and so kind in affirming my desire to live for Him. I have always struggled with wanting to “be someone” and judging my success by my accomplishments, but in Mexico I learned that success is overrated. I am committed to be successful in the act of surrendering my life to Christ.
My Pilgrimage continues in California. I came to Eternity Bible College again without an agenda. My only desire is to know more about this God I proclaim. Funny to say that the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. Slowly but surely God is making things clear, bringing down walls, opening my heart, taking me out of my bubble, making me new. For now I have found a home in Jesus; in His presence dwelling inside me, but the reality is I can’t wait to build my eternal home with Jesus in a new earth, and under new heavens. My Pilgrimage will end with the restoration of all things, and Eternity Bible College is giving me a firm and steady foundation to remain faithful in the journey.